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(no subject)
 
33 min ago / @juke +
GET ME THE HAT vs. GET ME THE SHOE Training the dog to distinguish between these two commands continues to…
 
2 hrs ago / @dustball +
(no subject) Why am i in hell? i am sorry. Can someone please tell me why do i experience this torture?
 Have a Bear x 1
12 hrs ago / @ontheway +
A Mighty Tree

I check my Timehop everyday. For the uninitiated, Timehop is an app that checks all of your social media accounts and phone’s camera roll to find posts from that exact date last year, two years ago, etc. My Timehop for today was a screencap I took one year ago today of a text from my momma. It said simply “Rock on!” I instantly reposted it on instagram and facebook. I didn’t initially remember the context, so I went into my text conversation thread with my mom. I hadn’t done this since she died. I went back to one year ago and looked at the conversation. It wasn’t anything hugely significant, just my mom telling me she was thinking of me and sending me love, and me telling her I could feel her love and that I was doing well in school. But it just hit home so hard that I never get to have little insignificant conversations with her. Or big significant conversations. So I read through more of our texts and just started crying my eyes out. I was at work, but Cheryl was the only person there and she was in with a client, so I just let myself read them and cry. 

 

Mom sent me this text right after Jamie and I broke up when I was really struggling. It was so supportive and encouraging and touching and just totally embodied how she felt about me. She was so proud of me. She saw such strength in me. I didn’t even text her back. I remember reading it and being too overwhelmed with emotion to respond, then calling her later. I want to print it out or write it down and turn it into art or something. I’m going to try to type it if I can manage to get it out through all the tears. 

 

“I see you as a growing tree. At first you have put down tentative roots and your branches came out green and tender and willowy. Now you have deeper roots, your arms stretched open wide like growing limbs of the tree; your fingers splayed wide as Twigs to the Sun. You are budding again in New Life. It is spring. Soon, the leaves of your maturity will again show as you continue to grow in The Loving Earth to be a mighty tree. The wind may blow wildly and yet you stand tall, grow, and live the beautiful life you are meant to have.”

Monday, April 25, 2016. 

 

She’s been dead for almost two months now. 

I miss her so much. 

 

 I like this x 1Love x 3Love x 3Love x 3
2 days ago / @mystupidmouth +
(no subject) There are no dreams. Only nightmares. How long have I believed in the good? Way too long. Why won’t…
 Have a Bear x 1
yesterday / @ontheway +
Harry Pothead, Dickhead and other dicks So I live in the land of dicks? As I was told I am one of them. I…
 Have a Bear x 1
yesterday / @ontheway +
the mean streak i have it. big time. sometimes it's in the form of a scathing barrage of banter,…
 
18 hrs ago / @morte +
Personal update Whew, that completes a ton of EC2 automation and server migration for MindSay. You still…
 
19 hrs ago / @dustball +
(no subject)

I spent most of my day inside, but I’ve had a bee in my hair THREE TIMES TODAY.

 

One crept into my hair at approximately 8:30pm when I took my dog out to pee. I was putting my leftovers in some tupperware when I felt something tickling my FRESHLY SHOWERED SCALP.

 

Reached up, moved a stray hair, okay all good.

 

Felt it again, moved another hair. Right.

 

A third time I felt something move and heard a buzz when my finger came into contact with it. Flipped over and yelled OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME I FELT IT, IT BUZZED GET IT THE FUCK OUT 

MOM IM NOT PLAYING WITH YOU

THIS IS FOR REAL REALS NOT FOR PLAY PLAY

GET IT OUT

 

then she slapped the shit out of me with junkmail and squished the wasp (lol not a bee) into my fuckin hair.

 

thanks mom

 

 Have a Bear x 1
yesterday / @deadite +
(no subject) So this morning I woke up to two texts from Jamie. 12:23 AM “Still miss you, still want…
 I like this x 1
yesterday / @mystupidmouth +
a freezer full **trigger warning** today i am non-functional. thats usually not the case, lately,…
 
yesterday / @morte +
Well, a few things This has made me think about how life is so precious. And how any of us can leave this…
 I like this x 1
2 days ago / @almost23 +
I Shat Where I Ate... First off, this week has been really hard on my with all the police killing of black…
 Have a Bear x 2Have a Bear x 2
3 days ago / @k10 +
 
Day 1/at least 100

I posted something on Facebook about inspiring quotes being annoying. Then @juke (Apparently I forgot how to link people's names...) commented on that post with a video about why people should quit Facebook. 

 

That video and the comments on it got me thinking about 'quitting' Facebook for the rest of the year... or for 90 or 100 days, based on a "challenge" floating around online. 

 

I did the math and if I quit social media today, on the first day of Autumn, and don't log back on again for the rest of the year, that totals 102 days. Its not as nice a number as 100 or 101, but I like the idea of finishing out the year Facebook-free. 

 

Social media free, actually. I figured if I'm going to go without Facebook, why not really get serious and just log out of all social media? I feel like in a way, other social media has the same effect as Facebook. Some might consider this blog social media, but I don't as much, and it's been in my life since I was like 14 so it's not going anywhere. 

 

It was weird last night, when I decided to do this, and suddenly I found myself questioning exactly what social media is. I have Yelp on my phone and a

I posted something on Facebook about inspiring quotes being annoying. Then @juke commented on that post with a video about why people should quit Facebook. 

That video and the comments on it got me thinking about 'quitting' Facebook for the rest of the year... or for 90 or 100 days, based on a "challenge" floating around online. 

I did the math and if I quit social media today, on the first day of Autumn, and don't log back on again for the rest of the year, that totals 102 days. Its not as nice a number as 100 or 101, but I like the idea of finishing out the year Facebook-free. 

 

Social media free, actually. I figured if in going to go without Facebook, why not really get serious and just log out of all social media? I feel like in a way, other social media has the same effect as Facebook. Some might consider this blog social media, but I don't as much, and it's been in my life since I was like 14 so it's not going anywhere. 

 

It was weird last night, when I decided to do this, and suddenly I found myself questioning exactly what social media is. I have Yelp on my phone and a list I read says that Yelp is social media. But to me it's like a phone book... with reviews. So I'm keeping it. And I don't really use pinterest in a social way but my ED at the museum wants us to be using it to help with some projects. So that's something else I'm keeping, even though for some people it's very 'social', for me it's not really at all but more strictly utilitarian. 

 

First note about quitting social media... when my alarm went off this morning, I had no motivation to wake up right away since I couldn't jump on my phone right away to use my Facebook, so figured I had more time to sleep that would otherwise be spent laying in bed on my phone. Then I ended up falling back asleep and over slept. Oops. 

 

First note about quitting social media... when my alarm went off this morning, I had no motivation to wake up right away since I couldn't jump on my phone right away to use my Facebook, so figured I had more time to sleep that would otherwise be spent laying in bed on my phone. Then I ended up falling back asleep and over slept. Oops. 

 

 

 I like this x 1Cool beans x 1
3 days ago / @divine +
Bi/pan-phobia is a real bitch. I feel like some people would rather see me in a toxic situationship with a…
 Have a Bear x 1
2 days ago / @k10 +
(no subject) Iced earl grey is excellent.
 
yesterday / @deadite +
A FYI for ya... If you read my profile, you’ll notice that “School” has been…
 
yesterday / @rv1501 +
When will it end?... Visine started it for red, blood-shot eyes… Then along came the…
 
yesterday / @rv1501 +
 
(no subject)

I wanted to quickly apologizE for my,last post being weirdly repetitive. I tried to go back and edit it twice and it looks like every time I did, there is a glitch in the editing from a phone so that it randomly copy and pasted parts of my,posts into other parts. Because I never copy and pasted anything. I can't really fix it because my,computer is broken and I can only,blog from my phone until it's fixed. Unless I make a special trip to the library. Which well see if I get bored enough or remember to this weekend. 

 

 
yesterday / @divine +
 
Reach for my hand, we have reached deep space... Hi all! Okay, so that friend of mine who I wanted to…
 
yesterday / @americancer +
Comment if you can read this OK please Hey everybody, made some changes back end, please let me know how…
 I like this x 2I like this x 2
3 days ago / @dustball +
Whoops! That awkward moment when you drop by the neighbor’s house to give them a little present…
 Cool beans x 1
2 days ago / @deeterz +
Upgrades complete! Hello everyone! First, again must apologize for all the troubles the past month or…
 I like this x 1
2 days ago / @dustball +
(no subject)

So while things are just crazy lately, there’s been a bunch of good interspersed with the just nuts, and I am so excited to see my dad this Friday and show him my house and he’s going to help me prep to paint and what not, and basically offered to give up every friday from now until whenever to help out.  That’s a 4+ hour round trip for him, I mean I can’t even.  

 

As much as my family makes me crazy, when it counts they have a tendency to try to be there.

 

 

Update- I don't even remember writing this the past few have been so hectic.  

 

I had an amazing time with my dad and I am so grateful that I get to hang out with him.  He got me started on patching and spackling the office so that was huge and now I have somewhat of an idea of what I'm doing, so I can finish that space and start elsewhere.  

 

We talked about so many different things it was really neat getting advice on some stuff that's stressing me out, he was surprisingly open to talking about the brother he's playing golf with.  

 

 
yesterday / @myspacebarbroke +
Reflection I haven’t written a post like this in a long time, so forgive me if I’m a bit…
 
yesterday / @aleeska +
(no subject) Life is so weird. Far weirder than adults led on to when raising us. It really is a…
 I like this x 2I like this x 2Cool beans x 1Good idea x 1Love x 1
6 days ago / @dustball +
let's dance Picking my battles. Taking a backseat to confronting authority while they satisfy their…
 I like this x 1
3 days ago / @juke +
(no subject) This will be my third post today, but fuck me, what’s wrong with kids today. I walk my…
 I like this x 2I like this x 2LOL x 1I don’t even x 1
5 days ago / @deadite +
tonight

I agreed to teach a CCRE class at church. I’m the kindergarten Catholic Education teacher.

I really don’t feel like doing it tonight. Once I’m there, it’s really not so bad. I’m not sure why…. but I’m just a bit uncomfortable about it. I know I went to Catholic schools growing up and I feel OK teaching kindergarten…. but still… I just feel … not prepared- ever. ever. BUT- I suppose it’s also part just my anxiety.

So, that’s tonight.

 

tomorrow is the prayer service.

I called dad earlier. he helped coach me through it and listened to me. He suggested I go. Said they’d take the girls.

So. there’s that.

 

 

 

 Good idea x 1
4 days ago / @almost23 +
(no subject) What am I? I don’t want to create anything any more. Am I even a human being? Why do I see things as…
 Have a Bear x 1
4 days ago / @ontheway +
(no subject) I want to die. And to stay dead. But is this it already? I feel like I’ve been reset too many times…
 Have a Bear x 1
4 days ago / @ontheway +
(no subject) I live in hell. I can’t believe my senses. I don’t understand why there is so much evil to be…
 Have a Bear x 1
4 days ago / @ontheway +
 

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